It’s Autism Acceptance Week 2025! It doesn’t seem like a year since the last one but there we are. I remember my creations for Waterside’s Bake Off last year. I really wanted to show off the Aspire Values of Personal, Progressive, Consistent and Accountable creating shortcrust jigsaw pieces and mini Victoria Sponges with corresponding icing colours to values. Unfortunately, due to the weight and volume of what I had produced a lot of it collapsed in transit rendering it unpresentable and inedible, even though I didn’t have to transport it very far.
It didn’t stop me from feeling so badly about what I had produced. I felt as though I had failed in some way, that I hadn’t managed to convey what I set out to do, and therefore I had no chance of actually winning the Bake Off competition that was being judged. That’s one thing I’ve learned since being diagnosed with Autism – high-functioning or not, I am super competitive and when I put the effort in, I want to win or at least be in with a chance of winning. I also don’t do things by halves and so not only did I produce two sets of baked goods with icing, I also made my own jam from scratch to put inside my Victoria Sponges. I know it’s a lot of effort for just one coffee morning, but I thought as a person diagnosed with Autism, it was the least I could do.
…. Oh well … better luck this year …
I haven’t quite decided what I am going to do for this years’ Bake Off but it will be different to last year to say the least. My plan will be to embrace my neurodiversity and those around me who are neurodiverse and are (and may remain) undiagnosed, as well as embracing those surrounding me who are neurotypical.
Autism is a lifelong condition, and the way it affects an individual can vary from person to person. I feel that it is sometimes forgotten by those who see me on a more regular basis that I am autistic, but it is there. I mask considerably as girls with autism invariably tend to do. One of my main challenges is that I don’t often tell anyone what is wrong until the very last moment.
Those closest to me can recognise when something isn’t right and can help me to communicate better or to feel more supported. I tend to speak loudly when explaining my issues, and I can get easily frustrated when I otherwise would have been calm, or struggle to complete tasks I usually find straightforward. Worst of all, crying for what appears to be no reason and/or walking away from a situation just to cry, and then not being able to explain what is wrong. It’s difficult to address sometimes as I often choose to put myself last, I tell myself I’m not good enough to begin with and (despite being super competitive) that I’m probably the worst or going to be the worst anyway, so despite doing my best it won’t be good enough. It doesn’t mean to say that I will do something poorly just because I think I will be the worst at it, but my thought process means that whatever I come up with, I feel my peers tasked with the same thing will always be better.
I was often taught that self-praise is no praise but then again, there have been more than many occasions where I have been good, done great things, earned praise and of course attracted my inner ego (I wouldn’t be marrying the love of my life later this month if this wasn’t the case) but when I think about that and what is to come, I have , with the support of my husband to be, organised most of our wedding day, ran and maintained our household, ran and maintained our car, attended our church and moved forward in obtaining an idea with a vocation to ministry, attended and had varying success in numerous escape rooms, kept us fed with a variety of homecooked meals (without poisoning either of us) as well as a number of other things – far too many to mention.
So during this Autism Acceptance Week – Neurodiverse or Neurotypical, I think it’s safe to say that we’re all winning – but I hope this years’ bake sees me as more of a success than it was last year – please judges ….. 😊
